


Veronica Mars Is My Secret Girlfriend (And Other Lies You Tell Yourself)

by orphan_account



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-15
Updated: 2006-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 2x14 "Versatile Toppings." Mac fantasizes about Veronica but settles for Cassidy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Veronica Mars Is My Secret Girlfriend (And Other Lies You Tell Yourself)

You’ve had fantasies like this. Too much like this, maybe. You can’t get the words out to ask Veronica if she’s a lesbian. She says no fast, so fast, that you think maybe she’s lying, but then you think, “Mac, don’t kid yourself. This is Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars is not gay.”

Just like you’re not gay. Veronica doesn’t even ask you, not even after you tell her you set up the website. You’re with Beaver now (and that doesn’t sound lesbian-like at all, call him _Cassidy_ ) and apparently it never occurs to Veronica you might be bi.

Bisexual. The porch door swings both ways. You’re a blue haired bi computer wiz, and you used to doodle all over your notebooks, _Veronica Mars is my secret girlfriend_ , until you’d tear the paper to pieces trying to erase the lie away.

Kylie and Marlena are walking down the hall hand in hand. You kiss Cassidy’s cheek, close your eyes, feel his eyelashes long and thick as a girl’s against your forehead, and try not to think of Veronica. His hand is warm against your back and you let yourself lean into his embrace.

 _Beav is my boyfriend, and there’s nothing secret about it._

You wonder where Veronica is right now, what she’s doing, if she’s thinking about kissing a girl. Did she ever kiss Lilly Kane? Did she ever think about kissing you?

You see fucking Logan Echolls walking down the hall, with his skinny new tissue-paper girlfriend. He nods in your direction, and Cassidy nods back, and you try not to hate Logan, even though it’s hard. Veronica really was his secret girlfriend, kissing him in bathroom stalls while your fingers cramped up from fucking yourself and thinking of the curve of her neck.

You kiss Beaver’s neck. Sinew and skin, it’s easier. You taste his cologne, the tang of his sweat, and you think maybe you really can forget.

Veronica Mars is not your secret girlfriend. She never will be. But you have a pretty boy with expressive eyes and surprising business sense to make out with in the hallways until your jaw aches and you feel like you’ll melt into a puddle of Mac and Beaver soup on the linoleum floor.

That’s enough.


End file.
